Big thanks to Wendy and Loz who reviewed all the adventures of the latest RA away trip.

Getting up at 8:00am is not a good way to start a Sunday, especially when sleep time for the previous night totalled about 3 hours, however there was an RA away trip on so it had to be done.

The faithfuls gathered at Kingston for a 9:00am departure, and in a new RA record, the first bus was on the road 3 minutes early. The other bus had to wait for the Northsiders who were being questioned at the border into the Southside…

Bus 1, the wet bus, was making surprisingly good time, and there was plenty of hearty banter from the front of the bus on the Raiders players and management. Those in the back were trying to pry as much info as we could out of Dugan’s grandma, but she was as tight lipped as Dugan’s defence and didn’t give up anything. KW and I began reminiscing on previous RA adventures, giving the newbies a taste of what can happen when you get on it with the RA!

The compulsory Sutton Forrest Maccas stop allowed the 2nd bus to finally catch up, and after a quick breakfast off the Maccas lunch menu (missed brekky by 5 mins – devo) we were on the road again. We had remembered to put the beers on ice, and keep them on our bus, so all was good. After a bit more debating, which included KW being accosted for not knowing when the next Raiders board meeting was on, the newspaper quizzes came out to play. Being the only one who could read at the back of the bus I was designated quiz master, while the others prepared themselves for questions. Unfortunately for KW, Bindi Irwin was not the answer to any question, and neither was John Newcombe in the Wimbledon trivia. Wayno was dominating everything, with Greg chipping in quietly from the corner every now and then.

Once ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ was over, it was confirmed that beer o’clock had been reached, and the back of the bus duly cracked a few. The 2nd bus, which at this point was travelling closely behind, was not impressed by this fact, as they only had water on board. Needless to say we did our best to show them what they were missing.

Upon arrival at our destination, we parked the buses at the gate, and headed into the worst ground in the league. Seiffert Oval has better seats than disLeichhardt, and that is saying something. Wooden planks greeted those with seating tickets, while those of us with GA at least had some grass for cushioning. The RA congregated on the hill in front of the portable big screen, and cheered on the Toyota Cup boys to a resounding victory over the competition leaders. With first grade kick off fast approaching we realised we had no confetti, enter Jed, the newspaper tearing champion of the RA. He had us 3 bags of confetti in no time, which we spread accordingly over the whole hill as the Raiders ran out. Thanks for stripping, Jed.

No need to go over the game, the Raiders did their best to make us think we were in for a win then hit the showers 5 minutes early. After 75 minutes of silence, Tigpies fans actually started cheering and tried to start up some chant about being a long way back to Canberra. The fact that we wanted to return to civilisation, where the toilets actually flush and dentists exist meant the chant didn’t last too long!

We wandered (crutched) back out to the bus, where KW was given the job of telling the non drinkers they were in the mini van for the way home. None were too disappointed about it, I think it was something to do with the fact that wouldn’t have to stop 15 times for pee breaks on the way.

We boarded the bus, cracked a beer, and went nowhere. Naturally we were sitting ducks for the attentions of passing mouthy, douchebag Tigpies fans with one notable twat unable to do anything other than sing ‘We are the Champions’ at us. The irony here is that this tool was wearing a wallabies jersey and had a haircut from 1993, which looked incredibly shit and we told him so. This jerk probably should have borrowed a hat from the Fat Controller – who was a good sport as he stood there with a ridiculous grin on his face while we proceeded to take the piss out of him and his stupid looking hat. The traffic out of the ground was terrible, but we were parked behind the Raiders bus so managed to give all the boys a cheer as they were walking to it. Massive ups to T Thommo and Monas who stopped and had chat, and also JayCar for giving me his sandwich. The Orr’s and I shared it and man was it a good sandwich – double ham!

After a pee break before we even left the ground, we were off, slowly. We made it about half an hour down the road before another pee stop was ordered. We stopped at a servo in Bankstown that doubled as a kebab store, which did some mean hot chips. As we were about to leave we noticed 2 were missing, only to see Spewing Sam and Slippery running back across the road with some Sunny Vale and Fruity Lexia casks. Trouble was brewing… or spewing…

Attempts were made to get some songs happening, however a mechanical failure with the ipod player meant that there was no backing music, and so every song lasted about 2 lines. The only songs that were finished the entire trip were the Green Machine, Queanbeyan High and Tuggeranong Hawks victory songs. The drinking song also made an appearance, and Spewing Sam, as his new name suggests, was soon decorating the outside of the bus with the Sunny Vale. The RA bus was stopped for its second ever spew stop (the first was on the Dragons away, and that was for Spewing Sam’s brother), and Sam was given a red card for his antics. Liam then decided it was a good time to bring out the Vuvuzela’s and for the rest of the trip the bus sounded like a South African soccer stadium.

Sam assumed the foetal position and passed out, was decorated in Raiders banners, then needed another spew. We stopped at a rest stop with actual toilets which was a nice change compared to the side of the road, next to a sheer rock-face where we has previously stopped. Also handy for someone on crutches, and females in general, as squatting proves difficult….

^Sam - Always spews on the left side of the bus!

We made it to Sutton Forrest Macca’s, where there were no cheeseburger challenges because it is after all, a family restaurant. And also because Marko wasn’t there. Some more chundering and we were ready to go. By this time it was about 9:00pm, there was no booze left and people were turning into major pests (KW). Sleeping was out of the question, as the Vuvuzela’s were out in force, as well as Slippery’s camera which has about a million flashes.

We finally made it back to Canberra about 10:30pm, an hour after the other bus, and everyone headed home with ringing ears and no voice.

Hope to see you all in Bay 72 this coming Monday, when the Raiders take on the Bulldogs at Fortress (?) Bruce.

GO RAIDERS!

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Ghost writer Wenty Spook has put together this week’s review, thanks Wenty! wherever you are………

LOSE Stadium Tour – 2010 Edition, By Wenty Spook

The start of my day was pretty disgusting. On my way to the Railway Station, a fellow passenger was rather hung over and this necessitated an emergency stop so she could have a yack in the bushes outside the swanky new apartments on the Kingston Foreshore. Cop that, yuppies! And so began a day where the theme of spewing would be recurrent. My chucky friend didn’t make it onto the bus.

A full Lyneham High School bus left Kingston at 9:30am ready to head to Wollongong to watch the Dragons take on their bogey team, The Mighty Canberra Raiders. With only four regular Raiders Army members on board it was a fairly tame trip up. Highlights of the journey included watching RA Stalwart, KW’s face darken as he read a piece of fiction, written by Jessica Wrong, that had been published in that morning’s edition of the Canberra Times. I can’t even say that KW had been misquoted, because to be misquoted you actually need to provide a quote or two. The accompanying picture was also rather horrific and probably gave non-Raiders loving readers the impression that Raiders fans are all retarded nuffies.

After a stop at Sutton Forrest Macca’s the first Scrabble match of the season took place and it was Nick (Vandal) versus Marko versus Loz, who vowed to destroy the other two as she was a female and therefore had a much larger vocabulary than both of the lads. The challenge was made in the knowledge that Nick lived in Queanbeyan and probably didn’t know how to spell properly and Marko is from Serbia and only has a basic grasp of the English language. She was wrong. Vandal absolutely spanked the pair of them. We don’t know how he did it, but he kept pulling out with thousand point words such as ‘affy’, ‘gu’ and ‘li’ which were accepted as words by Marko’s (probably Serbian) phone. We know for a fact that Nick is a cheat and that’s why he’s moving to Melbourne.

This was my first ever trip to the ‘Gong and as we rolled into town my first impressions were ‘This is Campbelltown by the sea’. Luckily the closer into town we got, the more things improved. As we pulled up across from the Entertainment Centre we were promptly told that we were not allowed to park our bus in the bus parking area and that the bus had to be moved to the Lighthouse, thus continuing the RA’s strong association with Lighthouses. After bumping into Ness and James, who’d appeared from behind some bushes, we made our way to the Five Islands Brewery where we were met by a sizeable contingent of the Northern RA faithful and Michael. It was still early so Pooley’s most recently digested meal remained safely in his stomach (the accepted alternative location of Pooley’s stomach contents is on Knights fans. See ‘Marc Pooley – More Beer Than Man’), which was fortunate for Kaity as she had already been puked on by another RA member in the previous 12 hours. Suffice to say if she didn’t much like Coldplay before, she definitely wasn’t a fan now. Toby also showed up despite having PMS.

After the downing of several bevvies the RA made their way into LOSE stadium in dribs and drabs. While the setting of the ground is picturesque, it is in need of the upgrade it’s about to get. Hopefully the proprietors update their attitudes too. Apparently if you have GA tickets this obviously means that you are poor and of a lower social standing than those in the stands and therefore cannot be trusted drinking full strength beer. Not only that, Loz was absolutely outraged to discover this was probably the only ground in the NRL that didn’t sell goon, well not to the bogans on the hill anyway.

As the match started it became apparent early on that it was going to be a decent game. Campese has returned to form and Thommo is playing for a contract. The Raiders completed the first half leading 8 – 6. I missed the half time entertainment, but I think it may have been Kristina Keneally. The second half begins and it’s better than the first half with three tries being scored by the Mighty Green in a space of six minutes, pretty much putting the Dragons to the sword – I’ve never understood why the ‘St George’ team would have a Dragon as a mascot, didn’t St George slay the Dragon? Isn’t that like shooting yourself in the foot? – A late consolation try to the Steelers (that’s better!) made the score 22 – 14, but it wasn’t enough to save them and the Mighty Raiders walked away with their 3rd (OMG 3RD!!!) away win for the season and their first free-to-air victory since… I have NFI…

There had been a fair bit of wank in the Sydney media about how the Steelers had a depleted team due to their stars being called away on State of Origin duty. Diddums. Well done to them for ignoring the fact that our boys have been playing with an under-strength team for most of the season due to injuries AND we had our own rep players out for Origin too.

At the end of the match, the Raiders made their way to the hill to thank the fans and then the crowd slowly dispersed at the behest of the LOSE stadium security jerks, but not before we made a Brooke Burrito followed by a round of Stacks-On. We rejoined our bus mates as we waited for the bus and got better acquainted with our fellow travellers while sticking it to as many Steelers fans as we could.

The trip from Wollongong to Sutton Forest was uneventful, apart from marvelling at Vandal’s ability to be able to spot a BWS sign from 5 kms away, but that was all about to change once we hit Maccas. In the past, we always seem make it to Maccas in time to see the Toyota Cup team clean out the restaurant and once were privileged enough to witness Steve Naughton put away 5 cheeseburgers in one sitting (see ‘Run Rabbit, Run Tour – 2009). The following away game saw Marko try to better this by eating SIX cheeseburgers – he succeeded. We didn’t get there in time to see the Toyota Cup boys this time, but word of Marko’s amazing exploits had landed on the ears of the lads in the backseat and one hero decided to give it a crack himself. Our newest friend joined the RA4 armed with six cheeseburgers, and as he fortuitously claimed that he was no stranger to a good vom, everyone gathered around to watch the unfolding spectacle. He got off to a good start by downing the first cheeseburger in a matter of seconds, a second burger joined the first in equally quick succession and just as he takes a bite out of the 3rd burger things went pear shaped. Loz, Marko and Nick were 1/2 of way through (unsuccessfully) finishing a family box when our man turned green and had to make a bee-line for the gents, leaving the remaining burgers fair game to the circling vultures – AKA his mates, who had to be prompted to go and make sure he was OK. And the best part is we’ve got it on video. But I do think if our new anti-hero really wanted to be a serious contender he should have bought seven cheeseburgers… and a bucket…

The remainder of the trip saw Marko, Nick, KW and Loz move to the back of the bus and Pukey McSpew move closer to the door because the windows (when they can be opened) won’t open wide enough to stick your head out for a yack. And for the first time that any of us can recall we had to pull the bus over for a ralph-stop. At least P. McS. managed to set one precedent. Congrats.
So far the LOSE Stadium tour has been the away trip of the 2010 season and I’d like to thank our new friends, Ryan, Sam and Liam for help making the trip more entertaining than we could have ever foreseen and for providing Loz with the goon she missed out on at the stadium. Thanks also goes to Jamie for getting into the singalong and providing some fresh tunes. And last but not least thanks to Jamie’s mum, the Collins 3 and Bernie for being good sports for putting up with our shite singing.

Next up, the boys take on the Titans at Bruce. I’ll see you there! But you won’t see me… SssspPPPppooooOOoooKKkkyyyyy

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Hi folks,

Just wanted to let you know that there will be a limited number of shirts for sale this Saturday night, both at the Captain Cook Hotel before the game and during the match at the SFS. We will have all sizes both men and womens. But there will be very limited numbers. So if you would like to be one of the first to own the new RA shirts for 2010 please approach either myself or Boing (we will both be wearing RA hoodies so will be easy to spot) and we will sell you one. The price is $35 each. If you are certain you want one please let me know either here or via the RA facebook page and tell me the size you’re after so I can hold one for you so you don’t miss out. This is a strictly limited run.

If you do miss out or can’t make it on saturday, don’t fret as they will soon be made available online (as well as the new hoodies!) And what I don’t sell on saturday I will have for sale at the Rabbitohs game next week.

Cheers, and remember, BELIEVE!

Azz

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