By Paul Henson

Welcome to another year of Raiders Army reviews. The review is designed to provide our loyal base of avid readers with a lighthearted insight into the thrills and spills of away trips with the Raiders Army. Loz is working on her acting skills to perform the thrills and spills piece later in the year. Unfortunately over enthusiasm contributed to a round 1 injury.

The first away trip for the season is always met with excitement, anticipation, expectation, nerves and usually a large quantity of booze. This trip was to be no exception. We met early on Saturday morning at Queanbeyan Macca’s. There were 2 reasons for this location, firstly to provide a meeting spot that could provide some hangover food for those like myself who enjoyed the first Friday Night Footy for the year, secondly to prepare us for Newcastle later that evening. Somehow Newcastle ended up making Queanbeyan look like Dubai, but more on that later. There were a few newbie’s making their Army debuts in 2008. Rick James had been looking forward to this trip immensely, he even bought a merkin for the occasion and stuck it on his chin. Wendus was having her first trip away, as was Chopsueu and a couple of his mates also in year 9. Willy Orwonti and Brett the driver were also experiencing their first trip and lined up in the front row.

After a quick bite and a headcount it was on the road in the famous Lyneham High bus. This season the bus has done a Brandon Pearson/Costin and reverted to its maiden name, Playmate. This was its only change in the offseason though, and it soon became very clear that it didn’t do any sprint training over the break. We were in for a long haul. The first leg of the trip ran smoothly all the way to Sutton Forest, the ‘no beer till Sydney’ policy was out in force and being observed to the letter. This was a coincidence because there was also no pit stops that the RA are famous for, as they thanklessly attempt to help drought affected farmers all around Australia. A bit of a stop at Sutton and off to Sydney it was.

First priority with the bus faithful was finding somewhere for beverages. Our old pal Ben ‘Metways’ suggested Camden so we headed in that direction as it was first turn off. 5 minutes later and we are lost in deep Western Sydney with no idea where we were. We saw fibro shacks, abandoned cars, a soil mill and mortgage stress, among other things as we commented that it was definitely ‘bandit country’. Little did we know we’d see worse places later in the evening. Eventually we found the shops after a nice tour in display home country. The refreshments were purchased, Simon complained, then it was onto Terrigal courtesy of all sorts of roads that sound like they were named by computer nerds eg F3, M7.

So we arrive at the accommodation. Most people are more interested where the esky is rather than their bag. Telling people to set up their airbeds fell on deaf ears and within halfa we were over at the club sampling their finest cognacs and Moet. KW’s slush fund for petrol contributed a round much to the glee of the punters. A few more and we were on the road.
The bus ride to Newcastle was great. The singing intensified and everyone was joining in. Some old favourites came out and we were all getting pumped for the game. There was no shortage of excitement, however time was running out. We arrived right on kick off and joined the Sydney boys who had reserved a spot on the hill. The players were running out so we started our singing right away.

Within 20 seconds ‘Needles’ MacDougall had made a bust and I thought we were in for a long night. Defence held firm though. Shortly after Linc barged over and I thought this was the start of the new Raiders, the one with steely resolve that wouldn’t back down no matter where they played. 10 minutes later ‘Wes the driving force Naquirma’ stretched out for a try. They went to the video ref and the Knights fans around me groaned and whinged that checking it was pointless and just slowing up proceedings. They were most shocked when it was awarded, I would have abused the idiot in the box had my jaw not been on the ground. Interesting that the definition of downward pressure changes from year to year. See last year within 2 metres of where the try was awarded, Alan Tongue had a try ruled against him when he got more purchase on the ball and downward pressure than Wes! I wrote it off as bad luck. 5 minutes later old mate Needles got a case of roid rage and pegged the ball 2 metres forward at the touchie. The winger somehow latched onto the ball to score and the Knights were a try in front. It was at this point a flea ridden local thought using the RA triangle flag to celebrate would be ‘bonza’. He was last seen being led to the dibby van for an evening with a roof over his head, he must’ve thought he hit the jackpot. Halftime was upon us in no time. I took the chance to grab a beer and chat to a few locals. One or two locals were friendly, some were abusive, but most were simply incoherent. One very smart fella remarked “They see me rollin, they be hatin, be patrollin, and tryna catch me dirty ridin”….who was I to argue.

Time for the 2nd half. Our ball control was rubbish to say the least. My constant ranting to get to the kick was falling on deaf ears, namely the 80 year old women down the front who all suffer from Tourette’s. The Knights scored off a bomb and then again from a grubber bouncing off the post. Hot Rod Todd laid on 2 tries to give us hope. From the kick off we made an error, the Knights scored and it was game over. I expected guns to be fired into the air, maybe there was but I didn’t hear it over the shouts of ‘Yee-haw’. The only other point of note from the ground was a female Knights fan advising KW she was offended by him scratching a certain part of his anatomy. She gave him some advice on how to fix it and obviously had some experience with various itches. We packed up our gear and headed out of the ground past the shipping containers being passed off as ‘corporate boxes’ and insults from those inside, many of those looked as if they may have been used to the 5 x 5 square confines. We shuffled back to the bus disappointed at the opening round loss but most still found a lot of positives.

The trip home was a long one. We needed to find some food in a hurry, some could say we lit the road up. A pit stop at the Colonel and off to Terrigal for the evening. Some of the boys on the bus spent the time pegging stuff at each other and trash talking, most were just either trying to avoid the missiles or collecting their thoughts from round 1. We had made one tragic mistake though, and arrived home at midnight with no commiseration drinks to see us through, this meant the adrenalin of the 1st trip of the year was to be the thing to keep most people awake and alive. Some even went for a walk to stay up, Loz inspected the landscaping and Willy Orwonti made a white tea with 2 salts. I decided I’d had my lot and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning to some tired Raiders faithful, most had had about 4 hours sleep. There were stories of late night antics such as deflating people’s airbeds, more trash talk on the balcony and bushwalking. We fixed the fence where Loz pushed it over, had a famous Simon BBQ brekky, then headed back to the home of the mighty Raiders.
On the way home we once again stopped at Camden, but this time we got it right without driving round in circles like Clarke Griswald. Halfway home we also stopped at Sutton and kicked the footy with as much grace as Brad Drew. We then headed towards the Nations Capital. A strategically planned plant watering by KW near a turning bay allowed enough time for those on the bus with the iron stomach’s to talk the driver into backtracking 10 minutes up the Hume to Goulburn for another case of loudmouth soup. The front half of the bus was elated, the ‘boys’ at the back near me were furious…..after all they had a quilt to finish knitting at home and a rocking chair that was losing momentum. Mostly we thought it was only appropriate that we at least tried to buy a few drinks and a bunch of flowers for Mrs Carney if she introduced herself. The Big Man may have appeared angry but at least he got to look for a car. After stocking up the bus, it was full steam to Queanbeyan. We arrived, stretched our legs and farewelled the Playmate knowing that we’d meet again sometime soon. Some shook hands, some hugged, others just kept trying to get the sand out of their Reg Grundies. All in all everyone agreed it had been a great trip despite the result and were happy the footy was back again for another year.

This week the Raiders play Penrith away at the beach. Although no RA bus was arranged this week due to numerous Easter commitments, there should be a solid turnout on the hill at Penrith. If you get the chance I urge you to join Nick, Toby and the other Sydney boys on the hill to sing our songs and spread the word. The cobwebs have been removed and now it is time to get some points on the ladder.

Till next time…..BELIEVE!

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