Raiders Army @ Brookvale

Well the run had to end sometime, and it did, with a juddering holt on a sunny afternoon at Brookvale Oval. In a performance that we’d associate with the Raiders of 2001, the boys were comprehensively beaten 36-14 by an impressive Manly outfit. The Army also struggled, with those that made the effort to travel to North Sydney unable to perform to our normal levels.

The day started early for the Army members travelling up from Canberra, with us leaving beautiful Canberra at 8.30. This was particularly difficult for those that had been sinking cheap ‘hooch’ at another Army members engagement party the night before. This was further compounded, as a case of Reschs Real was cracked open before the bus had even got onto Adelaide Avenue. Many thanks must go to Ben for organising the bus for the trip up, although it did look as though someone had aimlessly rammed the outside with a shopping trolley, and ‘Stanley’ had gone to work on most of the seats. Anyway with 8 on board, and 2 to get on later on, the Army had started the long trek to far North Sydney.

The trip went quite smoothly, with a couple of exceptions. Firstly, a cock up with the type of fuel the bus took meant most of us were unsure as to whether we would actually make Brookie, or be stuck in Sydney’s deep, dark west. Secondly, after getting onto the M5 through urban Sydney a few passengers on the bus needed to visit the ‘loo quite urgently. The looks of pain on my fellow passengers faces would have been hilarious if I didn’t feel like my bladder wasn’t going to explode as well. After getting off the motorway into Mosman there were screams coming from the back of the bus to pull over on Mosman high street, and we’d get out and take a ‘slash’ down a side alley. Ben assured us this is one of the better parts of Sydney, and we were likely to be arrested if we did so. As we turned the corner I’ve never been so glad to see the ‘Golden Arches’. It was getting that desperate that people were jumping out of the window before the bus even stopped. Without doubt, reaching those toilets was the biggest highlight of the day!

We finally reached the ground and set up on the hill, alongside some members of the SGB. It was another absolutely boiling day, is it just me or has every Raiders game except the Dragons game been ridiculously hot? The crowd started to swell and the anticipation started to rise. As the game got underway the Raiders once again got into a early lead thanks to another Smithy piece of brilliance. However, a disgraceful decision from the video ref allowed the ‘seagulls’ back into the match, when some nuffy scored off a Gafa dropped ball. Despite the fact we went into half time leading, everyone recognised it was a poor first half, and significant improvement would be needed if we were to get away with the win. The same could be said for the Raiders fans present, despite a few loud songs going up, we were on the whole, pretty quiet.

The Raiders may have as well of put a couch in our in goal area we spent so much time there in the second half. Three mistakes in the first 13 minutes, three tries to Manly and it was pretty much all over. A try to Matt Adamson gave the Raiders some hope, however a terrible dropped ball by journeyman Tyran ‘Tired’ Smith snuffed out any hope. I’m sure Manly scored soon after, I can’t really remember as I had really stopped caring by this point and was laughing hysterically at one Raiders fan brandishing Tyran a ‘pelican’.
It’s a bit harsh to put all the blame on big T, well actually, bugger him, he was diabolical, horrendous, horrifying, (For the Raiders fans that is). and any other adjective you can use to describe his wretched performance. He was the worst of the diabolical duo, his partner in crime, Ian Hindmarsh looked like he wished he was playing in the sand at Manly beach. Other than these two most of the boys tried hard, but were not playing to the level we know they’re capable of. Unfortunately Kris Kahler, who has been outstanding so far, had a bit of a ‘mare, he’ll bounce back next week and be the better for it.

The Army were pretty poor in the second half,. Most of the boys gave it a crack, but due to the heat and the fact we were playing so poorly, most found it hard to motivate themselves to sing. Most of the Manly fans, who had been MIA until the scoreline blew out, were having a great time giving us the ‘biggun’. One particular individual saw fit to flash his todger at the Army boys at full time. This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen at a football ground, and I had comfort in the fact that our club will never have an absolute knob like this supporting us. The fact that some Manly fans found this amusing (or arousing in a lot of cases) is quite scary. This bloke, like a lot of Manly fans was grossly obese. I dunno what it is about living on the Northern Beaches, but Manly’s fans seemed to have a greater proportion of ‘salad dodgers’ than any other club I know. It almost feels as though Manly is a little corner of America. As well as all these fat gloating pricks (excuse my language), Brookvale features another one of my pet hates. The ground announcer who feels it’s his duty to commentate on the game and gee the crowd up constantly (Because in this case the Manly fans were probably too lazy to lift their hands to clap above their bloated wastelines). I absolutely detest this sort of thing, and his constant comments of ‘Beaver’ and ‘Let’s make some nosie Manly’ nearly pushed me to running up there and strangling him with his mic. Luckily, the Raiders have not gone down this path.

To rub salt in the wounds we had to sit in the bus outside for 15 minutes to leave, as Manly fans walked past continuing to give it to us. However, there was one amusing incident whilst we sat there. One of our Lebanese brothers, who was in such a rush home (Presumably to watch Home and Away), tried to sneak his way through the traffic to get out, rather than waiting like everyone else (Why should he?). Somehow the wing mirror on his ‘fully sick beast’ hit a Manly fan, broke off, and smashed on the ground. It may sound pathetic now, but it gave us something to laugh about in what had been a pretty long day. After a couple of hours we reached Campbelltown, where we had dinner for the night. My thoughts that we were deep in ‘Bandit Country’ were reinforced, as we saw plenty of groups of young delinquents drinking Strongbow and glaring at the ‘foreigners’ that had invaded their turf, the local KFC. Despite the offer of sexual favours from one local in exchange for a lift, we headed home to Canberra (We found out she wanted to go to Macquarie Fields, we couldn’t take her as you needed another insurance excess for it).

As we arrived back on Canberra we reminisced on what had been a pretty poor door all round for the Raiders. Flogged in all 3 grades and a pretty poor show in the stands. However, I’m sure we can show great ‘Bouncebackability’ ,as the great Crystal Palace manager Iain Dowie would say, in our next home game against the Melbourne Storm. Whatever happens, the Army will be at the back of Bay 72, supporting the boys to the final whistle. I’ll see you there – Ultra