Raiders vs Rorters

In what is the most enjoyable away trip on the calendar each year, the
Raiders travelled up to Gosford to take on the Rorters. Despite an
improved effort from the Raiders, going down 30-16, everyone had a top
weekend, and there is plenty to report about.

The journey started on Friday afternoon, with most of the group heading
straight to Gosford. Another youth firm member and I were in Sydney on
Friday, so I am unable to report first hand on the goings on in Gosford
that night. I heard it got pretty rowdy, with the binge not finishing
till 8.30 am. Although I was assured one geezer, who shall remain
anonymous, fell asleep whilst having a wallace and gromit in the toilet.
He even managed to get the chunder on his shoulder, quite an effort!

We travelled up to Gosford on Saturday morning to meet with the rest of
the lads and lasses. Arriving mid afternoon gave us the chance to get a
few sherbets in, as the rest of the Army were sleeping off the headaches
from the night before. It was then off to the game with the rest of the
Army, getting to the ground just prior to the kick off for reserve
grade. Getting entry to the ground was a bit of the hassle, with one
particularly divvy at the ticket counter not being able to work out the
change that was required from $50 for an $8 ticket. It took about 5
minutes to convince her that the required change was $62.

There is no doubting Gosford Stadium is certainly an impressive arena.
The field is close to the action, and you couldn't ask for a more
picturesque setting. However, I can't help but feel the ground lacks
atmosphere. This is probably because the ground is so open, and one end
is inhabited by palm trees rather than seating. The crowd was building
as first grade approached, and the impressive Army contingent continued
to grow. We were even joined by a Melbourne fan for the match. He was
offering sweets around to everyone, I was about to take one when Craig
reminded me of stranger danger. If I had got into trouble, I'm sure if
I'd read this website beforehand I would have been alright,
http://www.sssalas.com/StrangerDanger.html. Here is some advice if you
get abducted "SCOOP EYES OUT, BITE,ATTACK FACE, JAB PEN IN EYE, JAB PEN
IN EAR, JAB PEN UP NOSE", those crazy yanks and jamming pens into facial
orifices!

After a disappointing reserve grade performance, in which a 12-0 lead
was blown, it was time for the 'main course'. We couldn't have started
any better, taking a 6-0 lead. Unsurprisingly this didn't last, and the
Roosters scored 3 unanswered tries. Chalky crossed just prior to half
time to give us some hope, but in reality the Roosters were always at
arms length, and never really looked in danger of losing. The Raiders
continued their ill-discipline of past weeks, conceding another 11
penalties. Ben Cross has become a liability, consistently giving away
penalties and being sin binned for the second time in two games. Cross
has had his run at first grade, and unless we have a huge amount on
injuries again, he should remain playing reggies. The only good thing he
did was crack that gobshite Crocker in the head. Apart from Cross, it is
hard to criticise the boys, who have had to deal with a massive injury
toll in the past few weeks. If our execution was better against the
Roosters, who incidentally had a 91% completion rate, we may have won,
oh well.

On a more positive note, this was undoubtedly the best performance by
the Army at an away match, in the past 2 years. The singing was
basically non-stop, and some song renditions were absolutely deafening.
Kris Kahler confirmed this, saying in so many words "By golly you chaps
were mighty loud tonight". Indeed we were, with some new songs,
including 'Monnas, where's you mum, Monnas, Monnas where's your mum'
being sung along with old classics. It was obvious we were getting to
the Roosters fans, who spent more time watching us than the game. Some
of their behaviour was hilarious, with one 50 year old mum giving us the
one fingered salute in front of her two young kids. That's the way mum,
keep acting like that and hopefully your kids will grow up to be like
you! There was also the toothless bloke that took great offence at us
cheering on the Raiders. This bloke lost any credibility when we saw he
was sitting on a cushion, presumably to give him some relief from the
aftermath of him shoving a pan handle up his clacker the night before.
This was in addition to the constant shout of "Shut up, we're trying to
watch the game", only in this country would someone be prepared to say
that at a football game.

Now onto the Chick Pen, without doubt the "Best supporters group in the
world". Excuse me, but what a load of self indulgent toss. The PA
announcer either called them this for one of two reasons. The first
reason is he is an uncultured turd that has never left the confines of
Bondi Junction, or if he has, his head has been so far up his own arse
and hasn't noticed, and believes the Chookpen are the best supporters
group in the world. Then there is the other explanation, that he was
merely saying it to liven the corpses sitting in the Chick Pen, trying
to get them to get off arses to sing for once. If he was trying to do
that, it didn't work. The Chick Pen once again were fairly
disappointing, despite the fact they had far superior numbers to us. The
Chick Pen's leader, and our good mate Mario, whose mob were incidentally
beaten by the cheerleaders in a half time catch the ball competition,
confirmed this.

Unfortunately the game was soured by a few incidents in the stands. I
wasn't really surprised, as it's something we've come to expect at
Roosters games.
After one of our blokes was king hit and we had food thrown at us at the
semi-final last season, I didn't think they could sink any lower. How
wrong I was. One of their 'top boys' poured sauce and mustard on us from
the top tier. Then he ran like away like Joel Monaghan. Well done mate,
I'm sure you were the hero of Bondi Junction for the day, and you're
still probably having a 'johnny bull' over the incident.

After the game it was onto Terrigal, for what always proves to be a top
night out. We had a bit of trouble getting the taxi, with us spending 5
minutes trying to assure our Indian mate that there were in fact 11
people in the taxi, not 12. I'm not sure what the fuss was about, in
India people travel on the top of trains, and this git wouldn't let us
go with one person hid under the back seat. Unfortunately the person
hiding under the seat was Big Simon, so he stuck out like dogs balls.
Eventually Mahatma won, and we were forced to get another taxi to
Terrigal.

As soon as we arrived in Gosford we were immediately accosted by one of
the local CCPs (Central Coast Punk). This bloke had been refused entry
to the club we were about to go to because of the rags he was wearing.
He could not see any reason why we wouldn't want to swap clothes with
him in the middle of the street, therefore meaning we lose our clothes
and also can't get into the club. He made an offer of $10, which was met
with disdain, and Army pamphlets nearly had to be distributed. He
finally pissed off, probably to bludgeon his beefsteak.

One of the best things about the Central Coast is the high standard of
women. Unlike our usual haunt of Mooseheads, the majority of girls up
there aren't stuck up 'rats with wigs on'. This meant I didn't have to
assume my usual role when I go out, of being a bit of a chubby chaser. I
can't divulge anymore, as what goes on tour, stays on tour (Alright,
nothing happened, are you happy now?). After what was an enjoyable night
out, everyone headed home rather early, as most were still feeling the
after effects of the night before.

Whilst the result of the game was disappointing, the Central Coast trip
had been a major success for the second year in a row. Thanks must go to
Paul, and his Granny, for putting us up for the second year in a row.
With the bye weekend next, it gives everyone the chance to put their
feet up and have a weekend off. For the next game against the Broncos we
welcome back Germ, Schif and Thommo, so we should be in with a good shot
of doing the 'Baby Broncos'. Whatever happens, the Army will be there in
force again, I'll see you there - Ultra